Writer’s block sucks ass.

He writes a sentence. Then he hits the backspace until the screen is white. He writes another sentence. Then he backspaces once more—write, delete, write, delete. Hours go by and all he’s got to show for his effort is that white screen—mocking him. Reflecting his failure as a writer back at him.

His creativity hides in the shadows of his mind where he can’t find it. All he can do is tap his fingers against the keys—making sure not to press down. Then the dog walks in the room.

“I should get up and pet him. No, need to write something first. Should write a sad story about a dog. The readers will be able to relate to that. How should I start, though? I know, I’ll just start simple with…”

His floppy ears dangled against…

“Floppy ears? That sounds stupid. I need a better way to describe that.”

The dog, a young golden retriever, ran to the door. Its ears flapped around and smacked…

“Dammit. I should get something to eat before I continue. No, I should write a few paragraphs first then get something to eat as a reward. But if I eat, I might get tired. Hmm.”

Excited by the sound of the doorbell ringing, the young pup clumsily ran to the door in that funny way puppies do…

“God, that’s just awful. I better write about something else.”

Thanangor, conqueror of empires, eater of souls, a man without remorse took to plundering the lowly village of Applegorge…

“I wonder if the kids ate all the pizza from last night. I bet there are a few slices left over in the fridge. I think I’ll—the dog dies saving the family from a house fire. If I build up the dog’s personality, it’ll be sad. Really sad. Too sad. Can’t write something that’s too sad or the readers will be turned off. Forget about the stupid dog story.”

Thanangor’s bloodlust took over and his body became a red-hot volcano spewing fire and death with each hammer strike…

“Maybe the dog doesn’t die but one of the kids does—wait, what the hell is wrong with me? One of the kids dies instead of the dog? Nobody wants to read that. What if—I should get that pizza before someone else does.”

The dog stole a slice of pizza from the kitchen table and ran like mad towards…

“I should get a few beers too. Then I’ll figure out the right way to kill this dog. This might take a while—but what if I…”

The golden beast rose from the river like a phoenix, water glistening off its thick fur. More demon than dog, it landed upon the ground and immediately lunged at Thanangor—but he was ready with his shield and hammer. Deflecting the gigantic claws with a swift swing of his shield, he countered with a righteous blow of his hammer upon the dog’s mighty crown. Then Thanangor stole the pizza from the mouth of the dead beast andakjeio;jgiojkljkjkjkjtkjekjksjl…

“Oh yeah, this is definitely going to take a while.”

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