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Let’s Talk About Sex: 6 Tips for Writing a Good Sex Scene

Warning: Mature Content

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While the focus of this article isn’t about how to write good erotica, we are going to go over the ways you can write good sex scenes. After all, nobody wants to hit a gratuitous sex scene in a novel and encounter something like “Their moist genitals slapped together rhythmically like two eels fighting over a dead flounder.”

Yes, that may seem over the top and stupid, but I’ve read worse in books that were ACTUALLY published. The key to writing a good sex scene is to incorporate emotion and feeling while tantalizing the readers with physical description—but not TOO MUCH description! How much is too much? Well, let’s get started and find out.

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6. Don’t Ruin the Scene by Being too Descriptive

If you find yourself writing in detail about where someone’s arm is or how their moving it, you’re doing it wrong—which is something you never want to hear when it comes to sex. The important thing about writing good sex is focusing on the feelings, not just the act and body parts involved.

For instance, instead of going on and on about his throbbing member or her swollen nipples, write about how his breath felt on her neck. Describe how his finger makes her feel as it slides down her toned stomach.

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These kinds of details better help the reader connect to the characters. Which is better than just writing something you think will make them diddle themselves. You want to use the right descriptions. No “He was hammering her love socket like an expert carpenter.” And speaking of unsexy hammering…

5. Make it Sexy 

This seems obvious, but you’d be amazed by how many people write incredibly unsexy scenes because they try too hard to be original. This is where you get garbage like “She moaned like a cat in heat,” and “His penis was as sturdy as a diving board.” What the hell is sexy about that?

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Ohh…

No, you must create a feeling of intimacy that the reader can’t look away from. You don’t want them giggling because you wrote something stupid like “His boner was like a jumbo salami.” Unless you’re writing crude comedy, that is.

When writing a sex scene, use words like: tender, strong, passionate, and wet. Yes, wet. Because damp, sopping, dripping, moist, and soggy are disgusting words that should never be in a sex scene. Those are descriptions used for detailing a moldy corpse filled basement.

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Or worse.

Now, I’m not saying you can’t experiment with your writing. But much like having sex, things can get pretty awkward, very quickly, if you do or say the wrong things. Imagine the face of a reader coming to the end of a romantic sex scene.

The whole scene plays out as a mature expression of love and passion between two consenting adults. Then out of nowhere you hit them with, “Then he pulled his floppy meat hose out of her ravaged love tunnel, stood up, and dripped the rest of his hot, sticky load all over her eager face.” Yeah…

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4. Learn How to Set a Good Pace and Mood

This is important for two reasons: it keeps the flow of the story consistent, and it keeps things from getting confusing. A lot of writers have a problem with story pacing, mood, and making complicated things easy to understand. This is no different in their sex scenes.

Just like sex in real life, you must create the proper mood in your story. This includes the lead up to the act of sex. Unlike the absurdity of movies, you can’t have a huge action/explosion scene followed immediately by a sensual sex scene. It works in the movies because they are working with a limited time frame and we understand that. And even then most people see it as gratuitous.

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But readers will be less forgiving of this. You have plenty of time in a book to set the proper mood. It makes no sense why two people would start having sex right after escaping a huge shootout. Think of it this way: would you want to do the horizontal monster mash right after shooting a guy in the face? Would you be in the mood?

Pacing is also important. It needs to correlate with the rest of your story. Going back to the action nonsense, even if you slow things down and set the right mood, you don’t want to speed things right back up with a crazy fast sex session. That’s how friction burns happen!

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The pace of your sex scene should fit right with your story. Maybe it’s slow because your characters almost died earlier and they want to savor the moment. Maybe they think they are going to die soon and need to hurry it along for one last hurrah.

Whatever the case may be, make sure it doesn’t feel out-of-place. And for the love of Moses, don’t write a sex scene that bogs down and slows the pace of your whole story just so you can describe a bone session.

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