The Grand Player
“Thar she blows!”
And out he goes.
Well whaddya say?
Well whaddya know?
Well. Who goes? What goes?
Ask the writer–bet she knows.
Does she know? Of course I know.
He goes. The clown goes.
Out of my head and into your show.
He’s been bounding around for a while now,
Patiently waiting to bound around town,
Without making a sound, he jumps up and down
To pass by the down time,
Inside the show in my mind,
He’s been biding your time
While pining for time
Outside of my mind.
Hey, Hey! It’s that time!
Tickets! Tickets! Three bucks a pop!
I dropped the clown at the end of your block.
Hope your doors are triple locked.
Not that locks matter.
–Aw, what’s the matter?–
Today or tomorrow or some time next week,
Your future is bleak.
There won’t be a next week,
Or even a this week
Here’s a sneak peak–
What’s this that you speak?
I’m some kind of freak?
Go ahead, you can freak if you think I’m a freak,
But I’m a freak with a clown and
He’s a BIG freak.
Bigger than you think,
And he’s not a weak freak.
–Haha, “eek” you squeak–
Freak or no freak, it’s you he does seek
And he’ll find you too, ain’t that sweet?
Don’t be sad, it’s not that bad,
Unless he gets mad . . . .
Would you make the mad clown mad?
I hope not–that’d be bad.
But that’s the only warning from me.
I mind my business, can’t you see?
I’ll have nothing else to do with this
So what if I let him loose?
You and him should make a truce,
Since he’s loose with a noose,
Oh, now here’s the bad news:
He chose to choose your neck for his noose.
He’s a bit loose in the caboose,
If you know what I mean.
I don’t mean to be mean by any means,
Things aren’t as they seem.
He’s just a nutty clown, I mean.
Oh, and he kills people. That’s a fun scene!
Um, wait, I mean . . .
It’s wrong, I tell you wrong!
From this society, he should be long gone!
Haha, did you believe my speech?
Yes, I’d like to thank the Academy . . . .
But anyway, there goes my Grand Player
Playing the game–“Make You Meet Your Maker!”
Hosted by me, his screwed up creator.
Did I mention, he’s one hell of an undertaker?
That saves me a lot of time and mess later.
Well, the clown’s been abound
Around your town long enough.
He arrived at your house, don’t give him no guff.
“Guff”–who says that? Oh well, it’s just me,
And now I’m departing happily.
Happily, merrily, cheerily, I leave
So you don’t request of me a reprieve.
(Plus your blood will make me scheeve).
Ha! I’m kidding, I’m desensitized by TV.
I’d just rather stay nice and clean.
So now he’s knock, knock, knocking at your door,
Quoth the killer clown, “Nevermore.”
Hey, look, now I’m gonna get sued.
Oh well, that line’s too good not to use.
So goodbye I say, and also goodnight,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Now what the hell, that just ain’t right.
Me and me are about to fight.
So I’m gonna go do that, have this fight in my sight.
But you have a fight of you own tonight,
You and the clown–will you win?–you might.
Hahaha, you do know I’m lying right?
And dying with laughter right at your fright,
Oh boohoo, cry all you like,
You’re out of my mind
(I’m out of my mind)
And you’re out of my sight.
Oh but hey, just one more word
You may think this clown is absurd
And oh my word, he is absurd
Absurd and totally blurred
While obscured from my point of view.
Oh wait . . . there he is . . .
Right behind you.
See you around.
If you liked this, check out the first poem called The Grand Show