“We better get on with this,” Mr. Jones said as he gingerly knelt down on all fours and prepared to crawl through the small door. But before they could enter, he needed to unlock it. So he pulled out what looked like a key for a child’s playhouse and pushed it into the tiny lock of the tiny door. And before Steve could even get to his knees, Mr. Jones was already halfway into the room.little door

“You coming or what?” Mr. Jones’ voice bellowed from inside the room.

Steve lowered himself to the ground—bending his long neck awkwardly as not to hit his head off the door frame—and began his crawl through the cramped opening. He made his way through a dark and tight tunnel-like hallway which forced him to keep his head down as he moved.

“What the hell is taking you so long?” Mr. Jones’ voice echoed as if he were in a grand hall of a castle.

“Almost there,” Steve squeaked out.

He pushed himself to go faster and was soon greeted with a calm blue light. The tunnel opened up to a huge room and Steve was finally able to stand up again. In shock, he realized the walls were ten times the size of any of the other rooms in the building. There was no furniture or anything to signify a person lived there.

Rendered speechless by the sheer size of the apartment, he looked at Mr. Jones to cement if what he was seeing was real. Mr. Jones only glared at him for wasting time. “It’s bigger on the inside,” Steve said under his breath.

“Sure is,” Mr. Jones said.

“Let me guess, a giant lives here?” Steve stood up and brushed the wrinkles from his clothes. “It would be pointless otherwise.”

Mr. Jones simply laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Steve asked.

“Oh, you’ll see.” Mr. Jones motioned towards the middle of the enormous room. “Yo, Tony. Where you at? I got a new guy for you to meet.” He looked back at Steve with the anticipation of seeing his reaction. “Come on big guy, he’s excited to meet you.”

A voice called out from way back in the shadows.”You think you’re funny with that big boy bull? Because I can tell you, you are not Jones.”

Tony’s voice was drawing closer and Steve craned his neck towards the ceiling—expecting some giant, some huge juggernaut of a person to walk in. Great footsteps echoed throughout the room and a large shadow was cast on the wall next to the two waiting men. It kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger as the footsteps grew closer. Steve could see a black figure but the lights coupled with the dark side of the room made making out any details impossible. Then from the deep shadows in the corner, the footsteps halted.

Steve waited with bated breath to see what beast lived in such a humongous place. A place so large that the majority of it was blanketed in darkness. This man, this thing, it had to be one of the largest creatures Steve would ever see. Then, the man stepped into the light.

mario shadow.jpgA very short man with a thick black mustache and hairy arms walked towards them. He took over-exaggerated steps so his footsteps would sound louder and more spaced out. He puffed out his small chest and carried his head tilted upward so his chin was jutting out.

As Tony made his way towards them, Steve couldn’t help asking Mr. Jones about the man, “Why would someone so tiny need such an enormous place to live?

“Oh, now you did it. I hope you brought shin guards with you,” Mr. Jones whispered.

Unaware of his surroundings, Steve looked down to see Tony was already standing next to the the men. He stood no taller than knee-height and looked very upset. He clearly had the worst case of little-man syndrome ever.

“Hey, you up there! You got a problem or something?” Tony barked in a strong Italian accent.

“No sir… Sorry you… just wasn’t what I was expecting is all.”

“And what were you expecting pencil dick? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Well, you know. With the room so big… I um… I thought um… maybe you’d be a little bit… taller or something? Steve stuttered.

Mr. Jones took three steps back as the little hot-head turned beet-red. “Little? I’ll show you little!”

A fury of punches and kicks came at Steve’s shins like a swarm of killer bees.

“Ow! Stop that! It hurts. quit it!” Steve begged.

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