Catch The Lunatics
The lunatics are looking for the doink doink,
As they’re caught up in a case of Law and Order,
That falls 23rd on their list of disorders.
They tried to tell the prosecutor but they bored her.
The defense attorney? Well, they couldn’t afford her,
Although it was rumored they adored her,
In reality, she felt that they ignored her.
Perhaps they did, perhaps they didn’t,
Perhaps their motivations stayed quite hidden.
Perhaps it remains to be seen.
The lunatics are rather mean.
They’re also taking over the asylum.
Think of science class: Kingdom, Phylum,
Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species.
The lunatics drive stolen Mistubishi’s.
Up and down on Avenue road,
Afraid of slowing, they might explode,
Stuck in fifty mile per hour mode,
Or is it only a bus to which that honor’s bestowed?
They know not, care not, see not the truth,
The lunatics lost their minds in Deluth,
While acting like Sherlock, their favorite sleuth.
Elementary my dear, elementary it is,
Elementary it was, whatever it is.
Elementary school: home of the pop quiz.
True or false, multiple choice,
Fill in the blanks, let us rejoice.
Be not an essay, be not afraid,
Be not betrayed by a failing grade.
The lunatics, they plan to invade,
With only a water balloon for a grenade,
Hidden inside a zombie parade,
That’s been on hold for the past decade.
The lunatics give each other frontal lobotomies,
For fun, for ha-has, for birthday parties.
On special today, only nine ninety-five,
Add an extra ten bucks for staying alive,
And tipping is always good to revive,
A comatose lunatic who’s taking a dive.
A dive in the third round can anger the fans,
Unbeknownst to them, the lunatics’ demands:
We fall, we dive, we pilfer the till,
Then we’ll go rolling down a grass covered hill,
As long as you give us hot cocoa at dawn,
I bet you didn’t know we’re marshmallow spawn.
Add chocolate and graham crackers, aren’t we a treat?
We’re tremendously fluffy and tastily sweet.
“Foibles,” the lunatics say.
Twenty-seven times throughout the day,
While playing hang-man, live on display,
Where anyone who’s anyone can come and survey,
Although most folks shrug and just say “okay,”
Then mosey, so quietly, far far away.
The lunatics, they’re everywhere, right in your view,
And maybe, just maybe, they’re lurking in you.
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