Why Lying To Yourself And Making Excuses Is Ruining Your Life
“…you must become comfortable with being uncomfortable.”
There are two major things we do that wreck our progress, goals, and attitude: make excuses and lie. Both of these bad habits walk down the road of failure hand-in-hand, but they can cause an equal amount of damage to your life by themselves. This is why it’s dire that you open your eyes and spot these faults within, and focus your energy on cutting out these two bad habits. We’ll start with the easier of the two in terms of fixing the problem.
When you think of lying, thoughts of deceiving others for personal gain or to get out of trouble comes to mind; that’s only the most obvious forms of lying, though. And while it’s true that lying to others is a terrible habit or personal trait that can reap loads of trouble upon a person, lying to yourself can be just as detrimental, if not more so. You see, when you lie to others, you know you’re lying. There’s a reason why you’re lying. And whether it’s innocent lying—like disingenuously complimenting someone to make them feel better—or malicious lying—like trying to get someone at work in trouble so you look better to the boss—you’re serving some personal need. This isn’t the case when you lie to yourself.
When you lie to yourself you’re only hurting yourself. This often comes in the form of doing less than you’re capable of or avoiding making positive changes in your life. This can manifest in making yourself believe you don’t eat as bad as you really do, that you’re in better shape than you really are, or that your life is in a much better place than it really is. This is delusional thinking, and at its core it’s the worst form of lying because if you do it enough, you’ll start to believe the lies. You’ll lie to yourself so much that when you are finally confronted with the truth, it’ll scare the shit out of you and you won’t be able to handle it.
We all know people who constantly lie to themselves. They drink diet sodas like it negates their gigantic fast food meals. They go to the gym once every few months but pretend they exercise regularly when asked about it. They act like their marriage is fine just because they haven’t argued with their significant other recently—even though they barely speak to each other at all. They talk up their job because they get paid decently, but they hate the thought of going to work every day.
These people lie as a way to shield themselves from their problems and shortcomings, but by doing so they are not facing the roots of their issues. This means they aren’t fixing the things that are bringing their quality of life down. Instead, they just put up a defensive wall of lies and pretend everything is fine. These types of people are often the most miserable and self-loathing. Unfortunately, like I mentioned earlier, lying to yourself often goes hand-in-hand with this next issue.
Now, we all know these types of people, too. These are the people who say no to life. They make excuses to avoid doing things that make them uncomfortable or are challenging. These excuses start out small. “I can’t go to the gym today. My shoulder is sore and I don’t want to make it worse.” Or, “I’ll start eating better next week after I finish all the junk food in the house. After all, it would be wasteful to throw it all in the trash.” Here’s the catch with this way of thinking, it escalates. First you make excuses to avoid things you don’t want to do, then you eventually work your way up to the point where you make excuses to get out of anything. Even if they are things you want to do!
There’s always that one friend who never wants to hangout or is always too busy to hangout. Of course, this person most likely isn’t too busy or always sick or has to work in the morning. A lot of times this person is just making excuses not to go out so they can lie around the house like a fucking lump. They do this because they’ve gotten so used to making excuses to avoid doing things, that it’s now natural for them to just come up with an excuse to get out of doing something without ever thinking about if they actually want to do it or not. Essentially, they’re like a mean parent who says no to their kid before hearing the question. Their excuses have shifted their mind into a constant negative way of thinking, where they’re only capable of seeing the downsides of things. They become the eternal pessimist.