Avast!

I’m a lion, “Roooaaaarrr!”
Wait, I mean,
I’m a pirate, “Arrrrrrrrr!”
Ye best be hoistin’ yer sails,
‘Cause dead men tell no tales,
An’ I got no reservations,
‘Bout givin’ ye invitations,
Right inta Davy Jones’ Locker;
Thar’s the plank, go walk her!
Avast ye swabs an’ man yer arms,
Thar’s pirates aroun’, so sound the alarms!
‘Cept the pirates be us, Yo-ho, such fuss,
Gather ’round the galley, let us discuss
This here gleamin’ treasure trove,
Pillaged from thar nearby cove….
Aye, we peppered their vessel with our irons
Movin’ so clever, no dry runs.
“Abandon all hope! No room for martyrs!
I’m ready t’ have yer guts fer garters!”
Yar, they yellowed an’ surrendered,
No thanks fer services rendered,
Jus’ inta the sea fer their whole crew,
Commandeered their ship, an’ started anew.
I got meself an entire fleet of flagships,
(Me bein’ quite the buckler of swashes),
Thar’s no room fer anythin’ but the best,
Sunk all the scallywags out west.
A King’s ransom, me vessels be worthy of,
But the open sea be me only true love.
No gold, no jewels, no barrels of grog,
Could get me head outta the sea-farin’ fog.
If it pleases ye thievin’ scoundrel,
Ye find me, ye also be findin’ hell.
Here be the only warnin’ ye get,
Take me promise as a threat,
‘Cause the code be damned to doom,
For parley, thar ain’t no room,
No matter where yer pride lies,
The rules be merely some guidelines.
So take yer children and hide,
‘Cause we’re comin’ in with the tide.
Ye scurvvy dog, we ain’t bein’ denied,
Pillagin’ and plunder’n worldwide.