When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist, and a round thing in your face, you get…a fucking hold of yourself. No matter what a women looks like you’re never entitled to “have” her. Believe it or not, even the most skanky acting women are still people. And just because they dress or act a certain way doesn’t mean they “want it” or “need it” (referring to you and your spongy corn dog).
This is an article that should not need to be written. That much is obvious. Unfortunately, we live in a time where men still don’t know how to act around women. For some reason, most men can only act one of three ways around females: be condescending, act in a sexual or flirtatious manner, or act in complete avoidance of women. Why is speaking and treating women like normal humans never an option?
Now, I’m not going to fly into a douchey white knight rant. In my opinion, those guys are just as bad (if not worse) than your typical “bros.” At least the bros let it be known that they are borderline sexual deviants who only view women as objects. But those white knight fucks play the victim card (because they have no masculine traits themselves) while they simultaneously pretend to be advocates for women. But it’s all a farce. All they want to do is weasel their way into a woman’s underpants through shady tactics. I think this SNL sketch breaks down these losers perfectly.
My opinion on how to treat women properly—and I could be wrong—is to simply treat them like you would anyone else. Treat the cute accountant at your office the same way you would treat a friendly male acquaintance. That means you don’t talk about your dick, partying, or ask any personal questions beyond surface level topics like “How was your weekend.”
If you’re interested in becoming closer to her (which you probably shouldn’t be if she’s a work colleague), take things slow and let her direct the pace of the friendly relationship. We are humans and sex, love, and romance are a wonderful part of the human experience. But if you ever have to force anything to achieve these, you’re fucking doing it wrong!
If you ask a woman out and she politely declines, that’s the end of it. Check your ego and move on. Pestering her over and over and fucking over again will not change her mind. If she smiles or acts cute (shy, coy, giggly) as she says “no,” she’s probably feeling very awkward, nervous, or even scared. If a woman is interested in you, she’ll let you know. Don’t try to read subtle cues that aren’t there—no matter what stupid men’s magazine might tell you.
The problem is, some women when constantly badgered for a date by someone they know or are semi-close with might finally say yes just to get it over with. This is especially true for women who are people pleasers and hate to disappoint others. Don’t take advantage of this trait!
If you pester a particular woman enough for sex (coworker, friend, girlfriend, wife), she might eventually give in depending on your relationship. Especially if she’s your spouse. But I would be willing to say that 99.9% of the time she will feel used. Now my question is, if a woman sleeps with you just to get you to stop bothering her about it, wouldn’t that make you feel like the biggest piece of garbage ever? If it doesn’t, you need to take a long, hard look at the way you’re living your life.
I’m not getting into all the “me too” stuff, celebrity and political sex scandals, or feminism. I just want to get out a simple message that I think everyone should be able to follow. Be kinder to each other.
That’s it. There’s no miracle drug to fix the sexual and non-sexual dynamics between men and women. But if we were all a little kinder and more understanding, things would get better. Instead of flying off the handle because you think women are taking advantage of the “me too” movement, take a step back and try to imagine how it must feel to be sexually objectified by strangers everyday of your life. Imagine not being able to walk down the street at night without fear of something very bad happening to you. This is the reality of being a woman in the world. And the sooner men start to learn these things, the better things will get.
I don’t claim to be an expert on how men and women should interact in social situations. But what I do know is that men (and women) need to use common sense during these interactions. Women, don’t lead men on (which is hard because many idiots will think you’re leading them on by simply breathing). But you can do your part in being direct and to the point by letting your intentions known from the get go. For instance, if you’re not interested in a guy romantically, tell him that from the start. Even if it’s awkward or hurts his feelings.
Men, never act like you’re entitled to sex. Because you’re not. Paying for dinner doesn’t mean you get sex. Being nice doesn’t mean you get sex. Doing everything right and being the perfect man doesn’t mean you get sex. Sex is NEVER a reward for being a good guy. The sooner you realize this the easier your life will become. And if a girl isn’t interested in you, move on. Don’t call her a bitch or get upset because more often than not, it’s not personal.
I know I’m all over the place with all this. This is just an opinion piece and not something I’m really sitting down to work out. So, I’m going to end things abruptly by giving you some quick notes on how to act (men). Cheers!
When talking to women, DO:
- Treat them with respect.
- Be kind.
- Accept your place in their world (friend, acquaintance, lover etc.)
- Talk to them as equals.
When talking to women, DON’T:
- Stare at their body.
- Be condescending.
- Expect sex.
- Push them to do things they aren’t comfortable with.
- Pester them.
- Demand anything of them.
- Lash out when you get rejected.
One final note:
- Listen to each other!