It was a dark and stormy night, the beer fell down our throats in torrents, except when we missed our mouths and soiled our trousers. 

Today, we cover what is considered to be the worst opening line to a novel in all of human history. But don’t take our word for it. There’s a whole contest dedicated to it! We discuss why the opening sentence is bad, then read a bunch of winners and losers from the 2019 Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest.

You can check out the contest at

DBS #59: A Drunk Tells You How To Pace Your Story Drunken Pen Writing Podcast

If you want to learn how to properly pace your stories, there are probably better ways to do that. But they probably won't be nearly as entertaining.  Check out our work at http://www.drunkenpenwriting Follow us on Twitter @drunkpenwriting On Instagram @drunkenpenwriting And like us on Facebook @drunkenpenwriting
  1. DBS #59: A Drunk Tells You How To Pace Your Story
  2. DBS #58: Is Stephen King Canceled?
  3. #96: 2021 Recap And New Year’s Resolutions
  4. A Murakami Minute: The Elephant Vanishes Finale
  5. Episode #95: 50 Of The Best Books Under 200 Pages

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